IVF - a stressful process

Since we had a missed abortion this summer I have not felt much like sharing the ivf process while it was ongoing with anyone.
If we would be allowed to start in October was really an unanswered question until the last minute. My Ferritin levels were very low, and I was in a bad shape. Being that my AMH levels were low as well, the doctor decided to let us go ahead.
I had been eating supplements like crazy as well as going to acupuncture to get my body as ready as it could be.
Before we started I was nervous about having to inject the medications myself, two shots every morning, however the shots were easy to do. I tried to hide the shots from Troy, but being that I really had to take them the exact same time every day, it was hard to do. I told him that mommy did not have enough blood in her body and needed some shots to get better. Having too little blood is not dangerous, just uncomfortable. He seemed to be OK with that explanation.
We went in for an ultrasound to see if there were any eggs, and if they were growing the way they should be. With low AMH levels the doctor wanted quality, not quantity and there were about 8 eggs, and 5 looked promising.
We increased the dosage on the medications for a few days and went back for a new scan. The 5 eggs that had looked promising were now looking good, and we got the go-ahead to set the ovulation shot.
I was nervous before the retrieval, I had heard that it was supposed to be really painful. We got to the doctor’s office around noon, and on the way there I had taken some pain medication that they had given me. When I got there they gave me some more (not at all sure what that was). I was brought into the room, the doctor came in and I was completely knocked out. I remember waking up at one point, looking at the screen and seeing that he was about to get another egg. I thought to myself, this is just too much pain and I closed my eyes and again I was out.
The doctor managed to get out my 5 promising eggs, and then the waiting game started. They promised they would call me the next day to let me know how my eggs were doing. That was some long 24 hours. 4 of the eggs had started dividing, something I thought was really good. Then there were another 24 hours of waiting to see if the eggs continued splitting the way they should. They promised they would call me before 9am if there were no eggs. At 9:15 my mom called and my heart just about stopped when I heard the phone.
We had decided that if two eggs survived we would have two returned, but when we got to the clinic only one lonely egg was still looking good. That one egg did however look really good with no fragmentation. The egg was returned and we now started a new period of waiting to see if the egg implanted like it should.
I started taking pregnancy tests right away to make sure I would be able to tell when the hcg from the ovulation shot would disappear from my body.
Going through a process like this you really analyze everything about your body, looking for anything that can possible be a symptom that you are pregnant. On day 6 I felt a sharp stabbing pain on my right side, and had to stop to catch my breath. I was hoping this was pain from the egg implanting in my uterus. If it really was I will never know. By day 8 the line on the pregnancy test was really faint, but by day 9 the line became a little clearer. My hopes shot through the roof. It was torture to wait for another 24 hours to see if the line was stronger. On day 10 the line was about the same as on day 9, so I had to wait for another 24 hours to see what would happen. By know I had gone to the pharmacy to get every pregnancy test known to man. I think I spent a couple of hundred bucks on tests that day. On day 11 I peed in a cup and dutifully tried all the tests (yes, this process can make you a little insane). All the tests came back positive. It was amazing, that we had managed to get a positive test on our very first try.
Now we started a new waiting game, first to get my hcg tested to see if it was increasing the way it should be, which it was. Then we had to wait for our first ultrasound to see that everything was ok, which it was. Being that we had been trough that traumatic incident this summer, my doctor was fantastic and had us come in for a scan every week to see that the baby was developing the way it should be.
On week 12 we went to the hospital for a thorough check of the baby and everything looked fine.
Today we are going in for our 18 week scan, and I sure hope the little one will show us whether it is a boy or a girl.

This whole process really is a big waiting game, and it is hard to focus on anything else while going through it. We ended up having to tell Troy that he was going to be e big brother before we had planned, I ended up being hit really hard by morning sickness this time around (morning sickness is such a bad word, it should be called 24/7 sickness), and he was really getting worried about me. He was so happy that he was going to be a big brother, and I think most of daycare new about this little one, before most of my friends. Troy was really happy to share the good news. Right now he is waiting at home with his dad, and I had to promise to tell him right away if it is a little sister or little brother. Since he has 2 brothers already he is really hoping that it is a little baby sister.

New kitchen

This is our new kitchen, we are almost done.

My Birthday Card from Troy

Troy made a drawing of me on the birthday card he made for me.
Love it!

Green Hair

Troy likes to color his hair when he gets his hair cut, this time he chose green.

Am I a vampire?

After the last batch of lemons, my doctor handed me a few more. My ferritin level was 5, which is extremely low, no wonder I have been feeling tired lately. Low Ferritin levels can make it harder to become pregnant. The more tests the doctor performs on me the more it seems like there is a possibility that I am a vampire. At least it seems like there is no blood left inside of me. Maybe that is why my mom kept feeding me blood pudding as a child, and honestly as awful as it may sound, I loved it. That red delicious pudding with raisins in it, served with syrup on top. I think the one I ate was made with pig’s blood, but my guess is that any type of blood will do.
By the way, Norwegians are not the only ones crazy enough to eat this crap, just Google black pudding and you will find the British version of it.

Acupuncture

Last week I started with acupuncture in an effort to achieve that goal of ours. I am not sure if I am a believer but I am willing to give it a try. Tomorrow I will go in for my second appointment. If nothing else it was vert relaxing. Btw I need to figure out hos to stop the iPad from making my spelling worse than it already is.

If life gave you a do-over what would you do?

There have been times I have wished that there were do-overs in life.
My one big do-over would be to have children at a much earlier stage in life. Troy, my biggest joy in life arrived with hormonal support after 3 miscarriages, so when Geir and I decided we wanted to try for a little one we knew that it may take a while and not be an easy road. We were both checked and we were told that my hormonal imbalance has now been joined by two blocked fallopian tubes. We were also told that we had to get married since we had not been living together long enough to get IVF treatment. I guess the Norwegian government wants you to be truly committed before they make it legal to get ivf treatment. Well, we wanted a baby so we planned and executed a wedding during the span of one month. Since our budget for the wedding would now have to be used to pay for IVF treatment we had to make it low cost, and even so it was a really great day.
A week before the wedding I started to get upset with my period for being more irregular than normal, we wanted to start ivf as soon as possible after the summer vacation so I needed to get my period asap. From previous experience I know that taking a pregnancy test seems to be the most efficient way of getting my period started so one night I took one I had laying around. Imagine my surprise when the test showed that I was pregnant. I had been told that I had two blocked fallopian tubes, and even though I knew that the test they put me through would increase the chances of me getting pregnant I really did not think it would apply to me since there seemed to be absolutely no opening. Both Geir and I were in an absolute dace over the next few days, but I managed to call my doctor to get the hormonal support I need in order not to miscarry. A few things started to make sense to me now that I knew I was pregnant. From not caring much for potato chips to feeling like I could not live without them. That sore feeling in my stomach as if I had been working out, why I felt grumpy for no reason at all.
During our summer vacation I started to feel really sick and keeping my food down became a challenge. With Troy I hardly had any pregnancy symptoms as all, this time around I seemed to have them all.
We were scheduled for an early ultrasound on August 1 at 9 weeks, since this was a high risk pregnancy. Having had miscarriages before I was not able to completely relax and enjoy the pregnancy, but I was not prepared for the ultrasound results. My doctor kept measuring the baby and pointing out stuff, and all I could think of was: Where is the heartbeat?!!! I finally asked and he became a little flustered and said that he was not able to find it. The baby also seemed to be a few days smaller than it should be, so he sent us to the hospital for a second opinion. He did however warn us that he was rarely wrong in these cases, and he was not. At the hospital I opted not to have a dnc, as that may result in us having to wait longer before we could start over. After a week of popping pills my body got the point and I had a miscarriage.

I called my doctors office to see when we could start the ivf medications, and they told us that I had to have one normal period before we should start to optimize my body. During the conversation I learned that I have really low egg reserve and that we very well may not be successful with ivf at all. So hormonal imbalance, blocked fallopian tubes and now low egg reserve. I am not quite sure how to make lemonade out of these lemons.
I really desperately want to have more kids. Being a mom is the best thing in the world, and I would love to have a soccer team of my own. I know that is unrealistic at my age, but I really truly hope that we at least can get one more little rugrat in the house.
My do-over in life would be to start working on that soccer team in my 20s, but since we do not get do overs I’ll do whatever it takes to have one more baby.