If life gave you a do-over what would you do?

There have been times I have wished that there were do-overs in life.
My one big do-over would be to have children at a much earlier stage in life. Troy, my biggest joy in life arrived with hormonal support after 3 miscarriages, so when Geir and I decided we wanted to try for a little one we knew that it may take a while and not be an easy road. We were both checked and we were told that my hormonal imbalance has now been joined by two blocked fallopian tubes. We were also told that we had to get married since we had not been living together long enough to get IVF treatment. I guess the Norwegian government wants you to be truly committed before they make it legal to get ivf treatment. Well, we wanted a baby so we planned and executed a wedding during the span of one month. Since our budget for the wedding would now have to be used to pay for IVF treatment we had to make it low cost, and even so it was a really great day.
A week before the wedding I started to get upset with my period for being more irregular than normal, we wanted to start ivf as soon as possible after the summer vacation so I needed to get my period asap. From previous experience I know that taking a pregnancy test seems to be the most efficient way of getting my period started so one night I took one I had laying around. Imagine my surprise when the test showed that I was pregnant. I had been told that I had two blocked fallopian tubes, and even though I knew that the test they put me through would increase the chances of me getting pregnant I really did not think it would apply to me since there seemed to be absolutely no opening. Both Geir and I were in an absolute dace over the next few days, but I managed to call my doctor to get the hormonal support I need in order not to miscarry. A few things started to make sense to me now that I knew I was pregnant. From not caring much for potato chips to feeling like I could not live without them. That sore feeling in my stomach as if I had been working out, why I felt grumpy for no reason at all.
During our summer vacation I started to feel really sick and keeping my food down became a challenge. With Troy I hardly had any pregnancy symptoms as all, this time around I seemed to have them all.
We were scheduled for an early ultrasound on August 1 at 9 weeks, since this was a high risk pregnancy. Having had miscarriages before I was not able to completely relax and enjoy the pregnancy, but I was not prepared for the ultrasound results. My doctor kept measuring the baby and pointing out stuff, and all I could think of was: Where is the heartbeat?!!! I finally asked and he became a little flustered and said that he was not able to find it. The baby also seemed to be a few days smaller than it should be, so he sent us to the hospital for a second opinion. He did however warn us that he was rarely wrong in these cases, and he was not. At the hospital I opted not to have a dnc, as that may result in us having to wait longer before we could start over. After a week of popping pills my body got the point and I had a miscarriage.

I called my doctors office to see when we could start the ivf medications, and they told us that I had to have one normal period before we should start to optimize my body. During the conversation I learned that I have really low egg reserve and that we very well may not be successful with ivf at all. So hormonal imbalance, blocked fallopian tubes and now low egg reserve. I am not quite sure how to make lemonade out of these lemons.
I really desperately want to have more kids. Being a mom is the best thing in the world, and I would love to have a soccer team of my own. I know that is unrealistic at my age, but I really truly hope that we at least can get one more little rugrat in the house.
My do-over in life would be to start working on that soccer team in my 20s, but since we do not get do overs I’ll do whatever it takes to have one more baby.

New House

It is exciting to see our new house beeing built, and at the same time there are a million decisions that have to be made. It seems like every little change to the original plan, makes the house a lot more expensive.
We just decided to change the color of the hardwood floors downstairs, and just to change the color is an addition in the price.

The other day we went by a store that sells light fixture, and I am thinking that I may like this lamp over our dining room table, only downside is that I may have to buy a new dining room table to fit the lamp.